Week Ten: October 28-November 3: Douglas, Susan Where the Girls Are: Pages 3-60
This week, we move to a text that is a personal favorite of mine—Where the Girls Are by Susan Douglas. Douglas focuses her analysis on the mass media and popular culture, and since this course addresses feminist issues in the arts in general, I think it is important to cover as many artistic disciplines and genres as possible (my reason for including Rothfuss and performance art, as well). That said, Douglas is often quite funny, so I hope you will enjoy her style -- and I hope those of you who claimed not to get much from Rothfuss will get more from this text. (Incidentally, most of you are teachers, so you understand that every class is different. When I taught Topless Cellist over the summer, the majority claimed it as a favorite. Every class is different, and that is fine. I value the honesty regardless.)
Some of you began discussing the ugly reputation of the word “feminism” last week, and your thoughts will provide a nice transition to Douglas, as her book addresses how “the news media, TV shows, magazines, and films of the past four decades . . . have turned feminism into a dirty word, but also made feminism inevitable.” (10)
I can’t tell you how many students I have had over the years say, “I’m no feminist, but . . .” The word has taken on such negative connotations, largely due to the mass media, that many can’t bring themselves to use the term. For me, the term feminism simply means a desire for equality. It celebrates all opportunities and choices for women equally -- from career to motherhood. It doesn't mean bra-burning or man-hating, and it functions in all areas of life, from parenthood to education to careers. I have a book coming out next month that focuses specifically on "domestic feminism"—one that applies a feminist lens to the choices and forms of service occurring within the home, viewing them as signs of strength and preservation. It focuses almost exclusively on motherhood and service, yet it is a feminist text. Obviously, I'm just one of several scholars and mothers doing this now, in an effort to change the face of feminism in what has been deemed by many to be a "postfeminist era." Whereas I agree that many sides of feminism, second and third waves, "got it wrong," I also see feminism as being much of the reason I have the opportunities I have today, and I embrace it for those reasons. I get to have a career as a teacher and scholar, yet I also get to de-prioritize that career, at my choosing, when it comes to my roles as wife and mom, which are personally more important to me. All choices I get to make. Still, it is completely understandable why so many don't embrace feminism, and it isn't my objective to change those opinions . . . but this IS a perfect starting point for Douglas!
Douglas addresses this issue throughout, as she examines “where the girls are” in 50 years of popular culture—TV, film, magazines, rock bands, etc. Her mission is to “go where the girls are.” She claims women are understandably “angry at the media, because a full twenty years after the women’s movement, diet soda companies, women’s magazines, and the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue still bombard us with smiling, air-brushed, anorexic, and compliant women whose message seems to be ‘Shut up, get a face-lift, and stop eating.’” (11)
She says all of this has forced women to feel alienated from their own bodies (12), and these images in the mass media have taught women that they must constantly put themselves under surveillance. (16)
The end of the introduction articulates this issue with the word “feminism” quite well. “This history also helps to explain why so many women are ambivalent about feminism, shunning the label but embracing so many of the precepts.” (20) I experience this ambivalence and acceptance almost daily from my students.
In the next two chapters, you will read about her assessment that to be a success as a girl and then as a woman, one must be both narcissist and masochist—“obsessively self-centered, scrutinizing every pore, every gesture, every stray eyebrow hair, eradicating every flaw, enhancing every asset, yet never, ever letting anybody see you doing this,” (27) as well as the realities of our own mothers as women.
Have you ever encountered an author who seems to be speaking for you—seems to know the inner workings of your heart and mind, yet has the auspicious position to reach the masses? Susan Douglas is that for me, and whereas I know we are all coming to “feminism” from different places in this course—something I value wholeheartedly—I hope you will find parts of this book to be as meaningful on some level to you as the book has been to me. If you don't, that's okay, too. Every class is different.
Lastly, it may be time to begin thinking about your final projects. You are creating a themed blog that integrates art, teaching, etc. with the course readings, but you still have 4-5 weeks to finish. Let me know if you have questions.
So far Susan Douglas’s introduction has caught my attention. Last week I worked on my blog and thought about the wage gap from my grandmother’s generation to my daughter’s generation. I did kind of a “Search and find” hoping to ask if you can find the difference against our personal battles with the wage gap. I also wrote about what feminism meant to me on a personal experience basis. Still working on it though – I’ll post it.
ReplyDeleteI believe this book has helped me to define my frustration with the women in my own generation – you either define yourself with the power/career/aggressive feminist or the “victim”, soft, princess anti feminist. Once when I lived in Des Moines – I had a friend/neighbor who worked for Pioneer. She has masters in got/pol sci relations and is now a lobbyist for Pioneer. We were both involved in teaching at a girls bible study. She once related to me that she was involved in a group at church where she was the only working woman and she wasn’t enjoying it. I called her on it and said maybe she shouldn’t make it about the fight of working woman vs. non working woman but just embrace it. My friend and I had a great relationship so I was a little surprised by her statement. (At the time I didn’t work.) Currently I live in a smaller town and there is a great divide in working and non working women – the bridge is not crossed. It saddens me because I think there is so much support that could be had for both sides!
Also - I don't like the feminist word either and the negative image it carries.
I feel this book will help me understand a few more things too about my grandmother :)
DeleteI feel that this book really helped me understand a generation
Delete**Late post for Week 9, 1 of 2**
ReplyDeleteAfter reading the last chapter of "The Topless Cellist", I must admit that my opinion of Moorman has evolved. Initially, I was intrigued by this bold cellist that made up for adequate classical performance in drive, ambition and physical presence. Somewhere around the middle, during Moorman's partnership with Nam June Paik, I noticed that I became incredibly critical of her actions and the way she semi-conducted her personal/financial life. For me, it wasn't so much that she was a mess when she wasn't performing (and sometimes when she was performing), it was more how she tried to play the victim, or simply the performer of someone else's piece, when she felt vulnerable or found it convenient. Seeing this side of Charlotte brought up my grievances with some modern female "artists" that play the "helpless victim" card while they shamelessly brutalize anyone with a different point of view. Finally, Rothfuss relayed the chaotic miracles that were Moorman's avant garde festivals, and I began to respect Charlotte once more, but I'll go into that more in my second *terribly late* post.
The second thing that Moorman did that earned back my respect: her relationship with her art. Life can be chaotic, and there are fewer truer testaments of this that are more salient than the life of the Topless Cellist. She found a way to channel that chaos into something that would survive beyond the financial debt and bad reviews. After watching some of the videos of her performances, I can candidly say that avant garde music is not for me. However, as I read the motivation and concept behind these pieces, I did respect the artistic expression.
Charlotte's relationship with her art did more for her than expressing her inner feelings. It emboldened her to face her fear of heights with "Sky Kiss"; it pushed her to seek new ways to define how to express art; it gave her the courage to face her treatment for cancer and eventually her death. Creating videos has given me so many things since I discovered my passion for it. When I'm filming, I kind of go to another place. I'm still where my body is, but it's almost as if I'm hyper focused on what I'm doing while I'm also beyond it, seeing it from outside myself. (how crazy do I sound?) Filmmaking has also given me a voice on subjects I cannot always express properly with words. It has emboldened me to go to the edge of a cliff, the top of a radio tower, and to ask questions I could not summon the courage for in a normal conversation. Has it prepared me to face a life threatening illness? I don't know about all that, but that's why at the end of her life Charlotte Moorman, the Topless Cellist, won me over despite our differences in the beginning.
**Late post for week 9, 2 of 2**
ReplyDeleteI would like to talk about Charlotte Moorman the festival organizer. This part of the book came at a time when I was seriously doubting whether I was going to have any kind of take-away lesson from Moorman's story. Promoting and event organizing are some of my weakest areas when it comes to my art. I was terrified into numbness for the two days leading up to the public screening of my film. It is not because I can look at my film and see every mistake, although I can; and it is not because I am worried that I will have a negative critique of my work, I understand that that comes with the job. Mostly, I just psyche myself out about everything that could go wrong or the little things that I forgot and still have to check on. Rothfuss pulled no punches when it came to calling Moorman out for half-hatched ideas or lack of organization, but I felt that it added to Moorman's overall charm and magical powers for successfully hosting not one but fifteen festivals. Truth be told, hearing about Moorman's problems actually helped me relax a bit when it comes to promoting my own art. I will work on being bold.
Holley - I love all three statements that are made. I think her art gave her the courage to go beyond her fear. Maybe she identified more with the "victim" side of feminism because of her own mother daughter relationship. She was the first educated woman and it was new territory to swim through and she just reverted back to "the passive" stance due to unknown expectations on her and others. I think that is what I found most frustrating her vacillating between the courage to run festivals and not taking ownership for them.
DeleteI am amazed after this weeks reading - that Charlotte was an example of the feminism anxiety that was felt by my mother's generation. Dealing with the expectations of the media culture post war, stay at home to desiring personal ambition. Looking back, my mother found her "voice" in nursing but was also incredibly testy! I related to Douglas's statement on p56. "She was supposed to deny a central fact of her life, and she was damned for doing the very things that were keeping not just the family but the entire U.S. economy financially healthy." My father, felt threatened by this as well. He wanted my mother to work for financial gain but resisted supporting her and often lead his children to the nonsupportive attitude as well. As a young career woman after my first child was born - I wanted none of the tension that exists in the feminist movement. I decided that juggling both career, and family would be insanity. Especially since my mother was always angry - it just didn't look appealing! I with great enthusiasm stayed home and worked in the home. When my children were both in school I did several part time jobs that were connected to the school. I have always felt supported and appreciated by my husband, kids, mother and father. I think out of my feminine family relationships, my grandmother, Mai, was my biggest mentor. Introducing me to sewing/quilting at age 8. She didn’t really have the feminist tension that my mother exhibited. We would sit for hours together in my summer time visits just making and creating!
Just in lto the intro of our reading. Mostly just enjoying her rieteration of topics we have already begun beating our heads on within our class blog.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoy Douglas' writing style and laugh at some of turn of phrase--onto the trahs heap of history, over the hill lumps of hideous cellulite. And i dropped dead loved her definition of feminists on page 7 —they are shrill, overly aggressive, man hating, ball busting, selfish, hairy, eztremist, deliberately unattractive women with no sense of humor who see sexism at every turn. They make men's testicles shrivel up to the size of peas...
Bahahaaaa. Why is it so lovely and perfect. Because it is spot on to the connotations we have with the word feminism. Then again maybe it is only true for me since i am ride on the tail of being a baby boomer. I grew up on gilligans island, i dream of genie and star trek. My first movie in a theater was mary poppins followed by sound of music.
I too am enjoying the writing style. There's a driving flow to it. Although, at times her voice in my head seems to sound like a frenzied yell.
DeleteOh i laughed out loud when I read her definition of feminism on 7 too. SO I guess I am not a feminist, according to her definition. it pretty much differs from mine - I don't even own Birkenstocks, though I did when I was in undergrad so perhaps I have just distilled my feminism?? She kits the nail right on the head though, nobody likes feminists, I don't even like feminists. Any extreme is annoying.
DeleteAnyway, What also struck me on that page was Douglas' mention of how women's movements were so dated. Hilarious, reminded me of being 15 and saying that cardigan is so 5 years ago. Like I knew anything?! But it got me thinking, lets just dump all of these used qualilfiers....civil right movement, gay movemnt, women's movement. What about a PEOPLE movement; where we just care about people?
ha ha ha yeah those were some of my favorites quotes too... My absolute favorite was the one when she mentions how the woman are fired from their jobs so the men could come back after the war and they were suppose to just "sashay back to the kitchen"
DeleteKatharine,I agree .The problem is the sloganeering so popular in the electronic media and in print.Some years ago I ran across a book with the title something like : Female,Male or Human? Also hypocritical programs like Entertainment Tonight paint a false picture of lets say Brad Pitt and Angie Jolie who "take care of their children" .Yea sure.If they did, they would look beat and haggard.No, someone else does that due to their money and prestige as jet setters.Unfortunately the non-discerning public eats this dribble up.
DeleteAnd on a side note i am grateful that 1. The former spousal unit banned the scale from our living space and 2. My mom did not buy girly magazines for herself or me. No glamour or vogue or suzy home maker. We did get national geographic amd a few other like magazines. Thank you mom and dad and former spousal unit.
ReplyDeleteOf course even without a scale or girly mags, i am still constituted of a plethora of conflicting assimilated ingredients. I am a walking talking contradiction. I have oftened wondered it this is our "essential state" as humans and finite beings who can only live one moment at a time.
DeleteSorry Kathryn - I keep shortening you to Kathy! (below)
DeleteAll is good Gail. Though i am a kathryn i do in fact go by kathy. Snicker, i have always shyied away from kathryn because it is too feminine to represent me very well :) ha.
DeleteLOL! Kathy!
DeleteKathy- yes her def. on page 7 is very "right on"- the worlds view! Even today my husband and I were playing golf with another man in his 50s. His attitude was exasperation toward his wife that her job completed her! (Her statement voiced by him). I wish we could be seen as part of the wheel of movement - every man and woman working together for the good of all.
ReplyDeleteGail,
Deletemy wife and I always have done this.We will celebrate our 34th year of marriage this month.We come from different economic backgrounds.Yet it was art which had cemented our relationship.I tire of men who have to constantly prove their manhood.Real male strength does not have to be boisterous or the stereotypes I really tire of on TV: the man cave/sports addict/sex craved neanderthal male .Both of us have talents we share with one another.I grew up with men's men,tough,tight lipped like my grand daddy! You just did not show weakness.Yet, in the early 60's ,an old lady slipped in the street ,and his car ground to a halt.We helped her up and took her home.A complete stranger!My father was mild mannered and "hen pecked "as mother mother described him,ha,ha.Living in a household with my great grandmother,grandmother and mom provided me with a balanced perspective on female resolve and strength.My mother was very liberated and yet was critical of the feminist movement.Later on she had understood the issues more clearly. It was clearly a status quo era of keeping up with the Jones,etc.America, such a new country, is coming of age, growing up as it were.Who are we to think that we have arrived when many countries have been around for centuries.
David - My husband and I have the same relationship - support for each other, team work - I am very blessed! My Dad was a man's man yet would do anything (within reason, lol) for us. My parents were traditional on chores divided by female activities or male activities. The girls - the dishes/kitchen duties. My brother - mowing! Raising my kids - the expectation was just do it and get it done not separated by gender! LOL!
DeleteSo neat! thanks for your kind words.I think its all generational, different eras or paradigms define what we need to do as couples/people to be successful in the world we now live in! I can certainly identify!
DeleteThis was an interesting read, especially because my mother was in town. I was able to talk to her about the book and she was able to relate to it a bit. She told me how when she first got married, she learned how to be a wife by watching television. Her mother had passed away years before so there really was no other way to learn. So, every day when my dad got home, she would make them gin cocktails, just like on TV, but had to give that up pretty quickly because they were just constantly getting drunk on gin and she didn’t want them to end up alcoholics.
ReplyDeleteI see the reverberations of this culture even today with how pressured my own wife feels in having to do everything. She feels like a bad mother every time we go to a party and someone has prepared the perfect, Pintrest worthy event. Or compares herself to the super-fit mothers in their workout clothes at the grocery store who still somehow have managed to do their hair and makeup. She feels guilty for not being a stay at home mom, but also wants the comforts and accomplishments that come with being a professional. It’s unrealistic, and unfair to have to compare to this unrealistic ideal. But that’s the job of marketing. Its goal is to create an unending desire inside of us, a vision of a life that is nearly impossible for all but a select few. That way we will all be consistently buying products in the hopes that with this one more thing, we will finally be able to be happy.
Also, although their burden was not nearly as bad a women’s, I do feel bad for the men of their generation. They too were affected by media and culture; led to believe a man couldn’t be compassionate. I see in both my daughter’s grandfathers this complete and total change. They were both a little firm and distant as fathers, but are now such loving goofballs as grandfathers. I wonder if they wouldn’t have been happier in life if they were allowed to be this way as fathers. Or maybe it was just the stress of working that led to their gruff and distant behavior. It’s hard to say, because they are of the generation of men that wont talk about that sort of thing. I wonder how much of their life they quietly missed out on. I wonder if they are aware of it.
Justin - My Dad has a hard time talking about these issues as well. Sometimes I wonder if the reaction from the female's response is what keeps them silent. I agree with you that the male of this generation were affected by media and culture. I think in my own relationship with my husband - we tried to look beyond tv, media and culture to focus on what worked for us. Sometimes, we felt like we were going against the grain - that created pressure. I think from watching our parents we tried to map a different course for us and our kids - we even turned off the tv at meal times! Something that was not done in either household growing up or to this day.
DeleteI was told my grandfather was MUCH nicer to me than my aunt, mom and uncles when they were growing up. A lot of the time I thought they spoiled me in a way because they felt bad that my parents divorced and they were having to raise me, but now that i think about it I to wonder if it was just because my grandfather went through all that change with the world I still feel so sorry for them lol they raised two very different generations I came home with piercings and tattoos hee hee and wanted to be an ARTIST yay but thankfully they still loved me unconditionally and also said to work for my dream
DeleteUnrelated, but on topic, I had a lot of female friends in college that had joined a feminist club, and when I asked the adult leader of the club, someone who worked for the college, if it would be ok for me to join their feminist club, I was yelled at for using the term feminist. I never thought of it as having a negative connotation, but was careful of using it from that point on. Anyway, the woman running it wasn't very nice, so they all quit and joined Lambda. That group was more than happy to have an outsider in their group. They even made me secretary or treasurer or something.
ReplyDeleteJustin - I'm curious - why did you want to join the feminist club? What was it you were hoping to gain?
DeleteHonestly, I just wanted to be around my friends. And, I didn't have any problem with an agenda that would focus on their inclusion and success.
Deleteoh wow...
DeleteWell-articulated statement about inclusion, Justin. It often seems feminism lost sight of this foundational tenet. And you are right about the treatment of males in this regard. Hopefully, this is changing, though, as evolving forms of feminism learn not only to seek inclusion, but to practice inclusion as well.
DeleteYes Dr H - we need more people movements!
DeleteOn the top of page 6 the author speaks of the lack of female singers let alone groups to merit a documentary. on their lives.The book was written 20 years ago and at that time this was true.However, I was pleased to have gone to the Carole King tribute/biography entitled Beautiful: the Carole King Musical in New York City last week.I must admit I did not look forward to it as I assumed it was another myopic musical.My wife is a fan from the 1970's tapestry era.I thought it was going to be the usual tribute stuff.However, it was well acted ,funny and truthful.It showed Carole's struggles in the music business in old New York.She wrote over 400 songs for 100 artists, a proverbial song mill.She wrote for both female and male performers.She, in her success, moved to the NY suburbs and had the stereotypical middle class lifestyle prevalent in the 1960's.Her divorce and the sign of the times with the music industry's shift to the west coast saw her relocating to LA./Laurel Canyon.She had 4 marriages and was physically abused by her 3rd husband who died of an overdose.I thought it brave of her to not be content to stay in the background as a song writer,but to, instead, step up to the plate and perform live,writing songs by and for her.Tapestry was one of the longest running albums eclipsed by Michael Jackson's "Thriller". She was born into music at an early age.King wrote the typical bubble gum music ,so popular in the late 1950's and early 1960's, but the times were changing.Her music became mature reflecting self and social awareness .I have much more appreciation for her breakthroughs as a female artist, not just an entertainer.
ReplyDeleteDavid: Good to know - I'm seeing this in Houston in a few months!
DeleteSeveral pages such as p-12,Our Love and hate of media,p-17 "women learn they must continually watch themselves being watched by others",p-23,the invention of a youth market-the teenager,secure and carefree!,and p-38,Jackie Kennedy, the first lady image mold breaker all resonated with me as I too grew up in the era of the 1950's-1960's.Few people realized that she was very intelligent and liberated.JFK was probably a misogynist, but he couldn't control Jackie.When he was assassinated in Dallas ,her resolve/strength was even more apparent in her handling of his assassination (I had heard she actually picked up his brains from the head shot).Change for woman was coming,slowly, but surely!
ReplyDeleteI found the "Jackie theory" on page 41 interesting! (The second paragraph.) She knew how to take charge and she also knew how to be gracious and ornamental - she suggested new possibilities for the princess role! I think her intelligence helped her to rise above the current culture or female victimization. I wonder how much her team of advisors helped her with this persona or did she set the tone for this attitude? I wonder how much Lady Di - set the woman back. I wonder if Jackie was the inspiration for the Drew Barrymore movie of Cinderella...she wasn't seen as the victim but showed when to be gracious and when to take charge. I have always admired this quality in the female roles in movies, tv or books that I read.
Deleteyeah that gave me chills reading that part of Jackie picking up her husband i saw that on a documentary and was like WOW
DeleteOn the statements about Walt Disney, I completely agree. When I found out I was going to be a father to a daughter, I began to look at the world from a different perspective. In that new context, I saw Disney movies as something I would really never want to show my child. In almost every instance, the princess waits for a man to come and solve her problem. Also, I’m pretty sure kissing sleeping women is illegal, and not grounds for marriage. I’ve read something not long ago that many Hayao Miyazaki animations are centered around a strong female lead, so I am going to go back and begin watching them more critically. I never realized how slanted the messages the world sent to little girls were. Don’t even get me started on clothes shopping for toddlers. Target finally started making Supergirl and Batgirl themed clothes. For the first year, I bought any superhero t-shirt I saw in the boys section that was even remotely gender neutral. I want my daughter to be the hero of her story, and not the victim or the love interest.
ReplyDeleteLove your last line Justin! The hero of her story! I think having raised two kids, male and female - I have stressed this to both my kids to be the hero in their own story! That both are going to have to be involved in their relationships, take charge of their path and not to be seen as a victim.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteI am a big Hayao Miyazaki fan. Princess Mononoke is great, though maybe for older kids (kind of violent). But, yes, the female characters are really interesting in his films, they seem much more dynamic to me than in other children's films. Looking back on the Disney movies I watched after taking a Women's Studies class and when reading this book too, I really realized how gendered they are - and thought about how they may have influenced me. But, I think I got lucky that my parents also let us watch other kinds of films as kids. We watched a lot of old movies in our house, and yeah, that included Doris Day movies, but it also included films like the 'Thin Man' series (Myrna Loy is amazing), 'His Girl Friday' (both of which I remember watching with my parents in high school really clearly), etc. I think my parents really just wanted us, me and my sister, to know about films when they were kids and that they had been shown by their parents'. We watched a lot of the popular kid/teen movies growing up, but I am glad they showed us other kinds of films too. I think that had a major influence on me for sure. Showing kids there is more than what is out now, what is immediate, is so important. And I think it is great to show them there is more than one story line out there!
DeleteI am a little shy to mention this but growing up with my grandparents in a Catholic home the woman i looked up to were saints I wanted to be like a saint reading stories about how human they were and then turning their lives around to be more caring was inspiring the things they did to help others..... whatever happened to that girl?.... I did watch some cartoons but I almost liked them for the art not really the stories as a kid or perhaps I interpreted them a different way then they were intended for me to. Yet seeing the effects of disney movies on my 6 year old daughter she is all about dresses and makeup and Im over here pushing her out the door to play with the dog we GOT her that she had to have who is now my dog ;o)
DeleteCandice, that doesn't seem that strange. My daughter already knows a few saints from the time she spends with my mother-in-law. Anytime my wife puts a scarf on her head, EV says she looks like St. Thérèse.
DeleteThe very first page of Fractured Fairy Tales struck me - during the cold war we were so far behind the Soveit Union. And of course we felt so superior after we landed onthe moon saying "we are the greatest super power eveeeeeeer"! That's always been our declaration right? I grew up thinking, "America is the best, everyone should do what we say." Of course when you are a child everything is super black and white and matter of fact.
ReplyDeleteBut lately, I think that poor 6 year old me is mistaken. We have fallen so far down that worldly totem pole. It's like the 50s all over again, we are being surpassed by so many nations in women's health care alone! I don't even have to mention economically, gun safety, education...etc I mean come on in France pregnant women are treated like queens and you can sue if treated otherwise. In Switzerland my husband and I both can take a year off after giving birth. You want birth control in England, no problem! Oh you have breast cancer in Canada, well lets fix that right up for you. We need a sputnick to kick our butts into gear.
yeah i agree i feel the only thing we really bring to the table is advertisement and how to sale crap to people that dont and cant afford it. I have heard so many stories from military friends saying how in Japan the watch MTv and mimic our "style" and all i can think is "is this what we are to other countries just "trend" setter" ugh.... what the heck.
DeleteOMG dont get me started on none paid maternity leave here ha ha ha I am about to be working from home for 3 months cause i cant afford to take off of work cause all we get is 6-12 weeks of leave and half of what you get paid called temporary disability.... WOW now im disabled cause i am having a kid and i cant survive on half a pay check.... ok ok i better stop lol oh by the way. I may take my laptop to the hospital with me smh.
I am with you Katharine. Growing up I never questioned America's power or influence. As an adult, I very much realize that there is work to do. I feel in part we became stagnant, or rather are stagnant in certain areas, because reform takes compromise - something that many politicians (on both sides) seem to have forgotten. When reading the book, all I could think was 'there was the motivation, and they found ways to combat it (for right or wrong), but improving/altering the educational system completely was no small feat, but they did it.' And I too thought, what will it take for us to realize that we need another overhaul (in a variety of areas)? Change may be slow, but that doesn't mean we don't try to move forward. Giving up, or keeping the status quo has never seemed to work out, and in order to meet the demands of our current world - we need to get moving and changing.
DeleteI have found this election cycle, there is very little talk about the amazing things we could do. Everybody is just talking about how much the other group is destroying things. I never hear anyone dream out loud anymore about what the future could be. Everyone digs in to their predetermined trenches every time anyone suggests even basic improvements and tears apart the new idea. I am so excited about the future with the developments in renewable energy. I think it was Toyota that said they were planning on no longer making gasoline vehicles in 50 years. There are so many new materials being constructed with 3D printers, and tomorrow NASA is supposed to make a huge announcement about the atmosphere on Mars. They 3D printed a heart recently for goodness sake, and all people can talk about is Obamacare. It's F*$^@# ridiculous. Soon, Denmark is going to have solar-powered, self-driving, flying cars while we're letting people die in the street because they're too poor to see a doctor.
DeleteNobody freak out on me ok, but Justin I am with you. Not becuase I am with you but becuase of what I am actually about to type.
DeleteI haven't told anyone this but I am actually intersted in what Trump might do if got elected. You're right Justin, everyone is so focused on their own agenda that they never listen what the other guys has got to say. All of these career politicians that tiptoe around everything and DO NOTHING make me sick. The little doe eyed 8th graded in high school AP American History class thinks - "why isn't our governement working, I thought that we were the best?!"
There is something incredibly interesting about Trump and how he just says stuff, with zero care for what others may think, he openly says "I don't care if I get reelected." I mean he is a little crazy and out there, but maybe we need a little less coddling and a little more crazy?
I know I had a point, maybe I made it, maybe this is just another rant.
This comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteOh and Justin I hate Obamacare, thanks for the free breastpump but wait the hospital still billed me and the insturance company nearly $50,000 to have my daughter. WTF!?
DeleteI can see why this book is a favorite of yours I absolutely like the way she writes its like listening to a friend talk. I found it kind of ironic that I was reading this book at work while pregnant and laughing and agreeing with a lot of what she says. As some of you may know I was raised by my grandparents born in the late 20's early 30's and reading this is actually explaining so much about them and myself even. It has been hard for me growing up around people my age because I was raised by a different set of people from a different generation. She speaks about her mother and I can see envision my grandmother a woman who went back to school in her 40s to be a teacher she worked 7am-4pm came home cooked dinner and took care of me. I can also see why getting my education was SO important to both my grandparents always pushing me to do more be more always my cheerleaders.
ReplyDeleteSome of the things she points out I feel today for instance on page 59 ".....first, the suggestion that working mothers are somehow delinquent mothers; and second, the notion that working moms are primary responsible for cleaning the house, cooking dinner, and playing Uncle Wiggily with the kids"
its weird to be one of the few woman in my office with kids their are like 3 of us and the ones that dont have kids always seem to mention WHY they dont have kids and its kind of annoying it makes me feel as if I need to say WHY i do.... BUT i dont i just look at them and grin.
Hi Candice,
DeleteI too am loving this book. I sat down to do this week's reading and ended up reading way beyond the requirement for this week. I think because there is so much I can relate to, in the sense that these kinds of issues appear today, but manifested differently. Things have changed, yes, but some things haven't. Mass media has certainly influenced me, and will continue to influence others. And women are still getting caught in the middle. My maternal grandmother (who we all call Annie) asks me a lot, 'when are you going to get married?' but she also encourages me in my studies, saying how great it is that I am doing it. I never get upset when she asks, because in some sense this only shows that the two are compatible, that I can have both. But, the fact she seems to be asking it a lot more sense my last birthday makes it slightly different...oh Annie...
So, yeah even though Douglas was writing in 1994 I think what she says is still really relatable.
This is true with my grandparents one minute it was get your education and the next was i hope you find a nice guy and have lots of babies O_o um what ha ha ha. I think to them that would help "settle" me down. I have never been afraid to be on my own or do anything alone. Which made it kind of hard for me to be in relationships when I was younger and they saw that :o)
DeleteCandice, I understand where you are coming from. I used to be one of those girls. I never actually voiced why I didn't have children, thank goodness. I think that I quietly said to myself wooh yay I am so glad that I don't have kids was becuae I was very selfish. It was all about me. I was getting my masters degree, I was teaching, I was taking care of the house, and dogs, and my husband. It was all about ME. I remember my mother telling me years ago that having children means being selfless. And when I found out that I was pregnant those words rang in my ear. When I was pregnant though, I has happy to make sacrifices for my daughter, lunch meat, coffee, sushi, etc. It seems like no big deal but it starts early. And now that she is here, I will do anything for her. It's hard to be a mom and a doctoral student, and a teacher, and a wife, and everything! I was so "selfess" that I wasn't taking care of myself. My hip was damaged during labor and I ignored the pain for weeks. Now I have to go to physical therapy to fix it. It takes a lot of time and I am away from my family and work while I do water aerobics (lame). But sometimes we've got to take care of ourselves. And I feel guilty when I can't clean the house or the underwear stays in the dryer all week long. But sometimes we need to be a little selfish, sometimes...
DeleteTV and the generation of the 1950's who invented the term teenager(invented by Bill Haley ?) saw kids hanging around the malt shop,like Dobie Gillis who used to cringe when the word "work" was uttered.America was being lulled into a false image of leisure.P-44,45 was illuminating to me especially as women like my Aunt Dorothy joined the WACs and/or worked in factories while men served in the military.They enjoyed working during this time ,having a sense of purpose/autonomy.No one speaks of servicemen who had come back permanently disabled from the war.What was a family to do? Of course everyone chipped in .My mother went back to work in food service in the 1960's after my brother and I had grown up.My dad was a security guard making very little money.Once again, a family's monetary needs far outweighed societal stigma .In short,living in a city ,everyone was too buy to be, as my mother used to say,"nosy"!
ReplyDeleteI can 100% agree to the nosy small town compared to the mind your own big city. This is one of the BIGGEST reasons I wanted to get out of west Texas ha ha. I was raised in a small town west of LBK and I couldnt wait to get out to the big city and work all on my own
DeleteI agree, I was raised in Houston - "the big city". Moving here was quite a culture shock. Lubbock isn't even that small but it feels small. When we first moved her I said something critical of something, I can't even remember, at the UPStore. My husabnd lectured me on the way to the car about how I can't speak critically casually to strangers. I said, who cares, I don't know that guya dn he doesn't know me. He even thought what I said was funny no big deal. He reminded me that this was a small town and that lots of people would know us becuase of his work. He is right, he is a band director and hundreds of students and families know my husband and myself by extension. This was never really an issue in San Antonio (where we moved here from). I shrugged him off but over the past year it is astonding as to how correcct he was. Everywhere we go we see his students and their parents. Even our peditrician's nurse is a band kids dad. So crazy. Small towns and small towns mentalities are tough.
DeleteWhen I was doing my undergrad, studying music in East Texas, I had gotten a little taste of it there too. Everyone knows who your parents, grandparents, cousins are, where you go to school, where you go to church. It was super weird that the second chair saxophoninst was asking me why my car was parked at the local Catholic Church on a random Tuesday night. I remember feeling so violated, was he spying on me? He has no right to ask me that! But he was just being friendly and genuinly wondering why I was at church on a Tuesday. (church is usually on a Wednesday nightfor most churches). It's definitely a different world and mentality.
oh man that was a long rant, so sorry
Deletepost marker
ReplyDelete